The Development of Independence

Originally posted on my Facebook page. Follow there for more mini posts. When our daughter was 2 and 3, she was really a breeze. Laid back, sweet tempered, I was so glad we got to skip out on the Terrible 2s and 3s. Umm...yeah, no. We didn’t get to skip them. Turns out her health …

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Needing Promotes Understanding

Originally posted on my Facebook page. Follow there for more mini posts. When our daughter was first born, I felt so intensely alone. We didn’t have a definite diagnosis yet and we were thrown into the world of caring for a medically fragile infant. We were fortunate, though. We got a diagnosis. And that was …

PTSD in a Medical Mom

Originally posted on my Facebook page. Follow there for more mini posts. What does PTSD look like in a medical mom? Like tears when you hear ambulance sirens. Like bolting upright in bed because of constant nightmares. Like fear gripping you with every photo of your child, wondering if it will be the ‘last one.’ …

Priority Maximum

Originally posted on my Facebook page. Follow there for more mini posts. Today I had a rather large ‘Aha!’ moment. Wanna hear it? It’s pretty profound. 1+1=2 Wow, right? Yes, yes, I know it seems painfully obvious, but lately it’s felt more like 1+1=4. Or 7. Or 528. It just seemed like there was no …

Processing Power

Originally posted on my Facebook page. Follow there for other mini posts. For the last several years, I’ve beat myself up for being weak, for being pathetic, for being incapable of handling the things I used to. I look back to our daughter’s first four years and how much I was doing despite the lack …

Every Year

Every year, I think it’ll get easier. Every year, I think I’ll just get to celebrate. Every year, I’m surprised at how all the feelings sneak up on me. Eight years. Eight years, and I can’t seem to figure out that none of this is going to go away. Every year, I will look forward …

If I Knew Then What I Know Now

The spring always makes me think of our daughter’s birth, all the the naive lead up, all the shock, all the fear, and all the decisions. Having a medically complex child has a steep learning curve and the resources available are often limited. You do your best, you try to make the right decisions, but …

Exhaustion: Leveling Up

Let’s talk about exhaustion, shall we? And not regular exhaustion, but Medical Mama Exhaustion. This isn’t to bash anyone else or to downplay other people’s experiences. I’m writing about my experiences. You’re more than welcome to write about yours. See, I’ve done the regular exhaustion. My first daughter wasn’t fond of sleeping. I remember that …

Her Story is Not My Story

Okay, so this has been one of the biggest struggles of coming back to write again. Evie’s story is NOT my story. It’s hers. And while, of course, her story has greatly impacted how my story has gone, it’s still not my story. When she was little, when she was struggling so badly, we wanted …